One New Thing A Day - Day 1 (7/6/10)

My very first foray into the unknown was a simple endeavor. At my gym there lives a ferocious beast. A sharp-fanged blood thirsty machine that is feared by most, if not all. This brute’s name is Jacob’s Ladder. A torturous looking device that I never dared set foot or hand upon. Laying dormant in the center of a sea of treadmills, it waits. Unassuming, yet deadly. I’ve seen many a person try to tackle this machine only to be tossed aside, face-first in their own pool of sweat. I had never even considered taking it on, but with new promises – come new adventures.

So I stroll up to the legendary creature and begin to circle it. I size it up with a squint in my eyes, so as to avoid any direct eye contact. A crowd of onlookers from the treadmills recognize what I am about to do, and wait with gasped breath. There’s no going back now.

I gaze upon the instructions printed on the side. If not for the easy-to-decipher pictogram, I would have been totally lost. I read it once. Nothing made sense. I glance around the room to make sure I haven’t been identified as a fraud just yet. Then I read the instructions again. I manage to identify Step 1. I have to attach myself to the machine. Attach myself with a belt that I see on the ground. And chained to the belt is a single threaded steal wire that disappears into the guts of the beast. I am becoming one with the machine.

After I click the belt around my waist, I proceed to mount this foul creature. I place my feet on the bottom rungs, and then lift my body and place my arms at the top rungs. The belt tightens and then begins to pull on the steal wire. As I climb up the rungs, they begin to move. I realize that the Jacob’s Ladder was appropriately named, for I must move my body as if I am climbing a ladder. An endless ladder of pain!

Actually, it wasn’t that bad. The higher I climb the faster the ladder goes. And then I’m off. Five minutes of the most exhilarating feeling I’ve ever had (not really though). I conquered the beast! And it had turned out to be a pussy cat. What a great accomplishment. Day 1 was complete.